Trash Bags

Today we used our last trash bag.

It was quite momentous.

Shortly after we got married, we went to Sam's Club and stocked up on essentials to start our new life together. Really the only thing I remember buying though, were these.

We opted for the Member's Mark brand, trying to be frugal and all. They were nothing fancy. No nifty ties, no stretchy sides, not made of heavy duty plastic...In fact, they were difficult to get used to. At first I would try to stuff them full to get the most use out of each bag, but they would easily tear and leave a mess in the middle of the kitchen floor. Or we would scrape food into the garbage can the bag would fall in, just like in that Glad commercial with the meatloaf, because we hadn't tied a knot tight enough. I day dreamed about one day finally using up all of these bags, and promising myself that I would spend the few extra dollars on nicer ones. Finally, that day has arrived.

We have had these bags for 2 years and 4 months now. A random time to reflect on our marriage, but the bags have made me think about the "jerni" we've been through. 2.3 years is a long time, and yet sometimes it feels like we just began. It has in no way been perfect. I've had to put up with his inability to put clothes in the hamper (they are usually in front of it), he's had to deal with my emotional breakdowns. There have been spats over meaningless and unimportant matters, fights over serious issues, and we both tend to get grumpy when hungry. I love to swim and ski, he has a phobia of water and would rather watch movies than do "extreme sports". We are both independent and have strong opinions that don't always agree (a conservative and a liberal in the same house?!?). And yet...

It only gets better and better.

We have learned how to appreciate our differences and love one another for them. He oohs and ahhs when I show him the finished product of a craft I just learned, and I listen to his stories about epic battles on the PS3. Together we have discovered our inner child selves at Disneyland, relaxed at the hot springs of Lava, teased the cats with laser toys, and found that snuggling down together at bed time is perhaps the best part of the day. He kisses me goodbye every morning, and brings me lilies because they last the longest. I traveled to four different stores to find him Reese's Pieces Eggs at Easter because those are his favorite. He pushes me to study when I don't want to because he cares that I succeed. I push him to fill out his teaching applications because I believe in him when he doesn't believe in himself.

I love him. And I'm 99.9% sure he loves me (he definitely will tomorrow, I cooked him lunch to take to work ;D). That love takes new forms each day. Sometimes it is more obvious than others, and we each continually strive to show the other that it is there. He likes to remind me that love isn't a "happily ever after", but a process.

Sometimes it is hard for me to accept that thought, knowing that I have to constantly work at making life great. Our old garbage bags were a challenge to get used to. I had to accept that I just couldn't shove in as many milk jugs as I would have liked, and found that emptying it a few papers less than stuffed meant the bag wouldn't tear. I taught Jeff how to tie a big enough knot so they wouldn't fall into the can. And those bags followed us through these years, serving their purpose well. Like getting used to the bags, it was hard (but definitely worth it!) to get used to being "us" in the beginning. Now we are into our third year together, and we are getting comfortable with who "we" are. We both smiled as he put the last old bag into the garbage, remembering those beginning days. We have learned who we are, and we know where we want to go together. Now we can move on to even bigger and better things.

Like Glad Force-Flex trash bags.